so as i predicted, i am terrible at keeping a blog. I am first going to blame this on exams. Revising for 2 was hard y'all. no lie. don't know how people do more. and then it's been sunny since finishing, so I don't have time to sit and write. BUT i do want to have some musings on finishing and stuff so it's going to be like a back dated blog. maybe like time traveling if you will (watching too much dr who currently).
so to keep this one short and sweet, i am going to update you on my leg. So two days after I had my last exam I had an MRI. thanks NHS. When I want to celebrate, you want to hold me. BOO YOU. though I still went out the night before and rocked up at the hospital with 4 hours sleep. In my mind, this made sense, I could be more relaxed. Now I knew MRI's were scary, eg the ridiculous amount of magnetism around it and all these scary questions about metal being in me. no i've never had metal in my eye, and surely you should know if I have a pace maker?
So they take me to the machine. It's huge. When you see them on tv, they don't look that big but i assure you they are massive. the rooms are often built around them. but the little round bit where you go in - TINY. seriously have no idea how fat people, or even people just slightly wider than me get in there. thank god my head didn't go in. It would've been so scary. The part that they take the picture of has to be central in the machine, luckily has a tall person, my head didnt get to go in but was on the edge of the machine. So my leg was in a strap thing, and I couldn't move and had some big earphones on coz it was 'noisy' and like a squidgy thing to get someone if i wanted to come out. then the lady left, and the machine started up, like three clicks which were kind of loud but not that bad. I was like this is fine. But then the lady came back about 10 mins later and was like 'its not working, we are going to reboot it'. ok fine. so i sat up for a bit. then it was ready and i went back in, my head edging closer to the claustrophobic gap. the clicks came...
THEN THE WORSE NOISE EVER INVENTED BY MAN. oh my days. how people have an mri scan of their brain, i don't know, you'd go deaf. the noise was a cross between a fire alarm and a fog horn being directly blown into your ears. SCARY. i couldn't relax, all i could do was count backwards the numbers shown on the panel above me. I came out shaking and my ears ringing.
anyway I got my results this week, another early trip to the hospital. Went to the fracture clinic, which whenever i hear this makes me think of theme hospital, like the bloaty head clinic but there was also a fracture clinic run by a nurse. So got into a little ward, which was basically a long room sectioned off with walls and curtains, and behind the curtains the nurses and doctors could move around. they do not pull the curtains. So I sat on the bed whilst they pulled up my mri video. weirdly they hadnt seen it until I was sitting right there. great news. then I sat there whilst they GOOGLED what was wrong with me. it was at this moment i felt sick and lost all confidence. now i understand doctors and nurses can't hold everything in their brains at once, but when your an expert on the knee area, you should probs know something. like I don't have to google anything about why gay black man invented voguing, it's there stored. there were no windows. it was hot. so the nurse told me there was nothing wrong (erm so why were you googling stuff then?) and that the reason it happened is because I have slightly higher knee caps than a usual person aka knobbly knees, but physio at least once a week will get rid of the locked knee, unless something tiny is still in there. so she did some physio and was perfectly nice but I did decide to get fainty and sicky. so they had to get me a fan, whilst i acted like a big girls blouse. i mean there was a guy next to me who was told his football playing days were over. and here dear readers is why I don't play sport, what if I had been all sporty and enjoyed it and stuff and then told I could never do the thing I loved again, that would be devastating. So instead I chose not too, so if I do harm myself (which is likely, I'm very clumsy) I won't get that upset.
So I begin physio next week. I know it's going to be painful, but even the nurse the other day doing some stuff has made it so much better (as well as mentally knowing its ok). This is enough posting for today. I will update more or backdate more later. Instead I'm going to sit in my room and cry whilst I watch how amazing glastonbury is, especially in this awesome weather. ONE DAY I WILL BE THERE. ONE DAY.
Saturday, 26 June 2010
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Just another, not-quite-so manic monday
So yesterday I awoke to my phone ringing.
At first I thought it was my alarm, but then I realised it was not making any noise. The number flashing up on the screen was unknown, so the scardy cat that I am, I did not answer it. As I have had my number for so long, i often receive cold calls trying to sell something, and like 99.9% of the population this irritates me. If it is important normally a person leaves a message. and this time they did.
Turns out it was a man from a company I had recently applied for a job with. When I say recently, I mean 1am the night before. He was ringing at 9.30am. This shocked me. In the months I have been applying for jobs, no one had rung me. The grad schemes send out automated you have failed, but we can't tell you why messages, and other companies send 'we want people to start immediately' if that, normally getting out on the clause 'we will only be in contact if successful'. In this recession job market, there are about a hundred billion (approx.) amount of people fighting it out for a job, and there are last years graduates with solid results ready to jump in and take the jobs. So basically getting a job is hard.
Anyway, I was in shock. So I rang the guy back and he was straight with me - currently they don't have any jobs because they already have graduates from last year. standard. He explained the company is trying to set up youth magazines for various areas in the country, and if the first two were successful, they would launch more. He went on to say if this happened, or the company commissioned more, basically I was first in line to get a job! Have to say I was ecstatic. To finally recieve positive feedback after so many months was glorious. He said he was so impressed with my CV and cover letter, which were beautifully written and really struck a chord with him. He says once I finish in July, I should ring him to see if anything has opened up. So a glimmer of hope, in a market that is apparently 'saturated'. There are jobs for graduates, just not in London. Trust me.
So this was a lovely start to my morning. It was sunny outside, I may even have a real job/career in something I've always wanted to do in a few months time and I got to have nachos for lunch. Winner. My housemate E and I decided to 'revise' outside which actually mainly involved napping in the sun and watching birds. We both love ducks, and the bonus of living on campus is that in spring, all the baby animals come out. So cute! However you learn one thing when you arrive at university about ducks. Something that truly takes away your innocence. Duck's rape one another. It sounds funny but is horrifying. Ducks mate for life, but because there are too many male ducks, those males who don't get a mate rape other lady ducks. They also know what they are doing is wrong, and the lady duck is violated. It's disturbing to watch, and yesterday a couple of ducks came over to us, over for another male duck arrive and you could see her get all hunched. Anyway, I swear the first moment you witness this, you can never go back to childhood innocence.
So me and E grabbed some bread and went searching for more ducks. As we walked towards the lakes, we had to pass some of the richer, fresher accommodation. I'm talking the 500 quid a month ones. These are so big, my room could fit in the corridor, whereas my corridor can barely fit a person. The odd thing about these buildings however is that the ground floor rooms have sliding windows. Now having only lived in the "poor" halls, I believed all ground floors had the safety bar windows, so thieves could not enter. Apparently not so, so the university makes it easier to steal from the rich halls, where I presume there are better laptops! This tickled me, but not as much as finding on the ground mussel shells. MUSSEL SHELLS. This is a perfect demonstration of how rich this university is. Mussels are not cheap and are certainly not a staple of students. What was even more hilarious, was that rather than putting the shells in the bin, someone had chucked it out of the kitchen window, probably as they were eating them! Then as we returned from our walk, a soft top sports car was parked outside our building. I mean come on, if you need any more proof that this university is full of rahs, I was confronted with this. Oh fugverse, how I can't wait to escape!
In contrast to these posh going ons, in the evening I took a trip to a orthopedic clinic on the edge of coventry. The place itself was posh, but the housing estates were not. So much so someone had burnt the bus timetable at the bus stop. The contrast is sometimes too extreme! I had to go to the orthopedic clinic because about a month ago, on easter sunday, I dislocated my left knee cap in the garden, scaring my dad, heavily pregnant (at the time) step-mum, my 17 and 3 year old sisters, and my guinea pigs half to death. I'm not even sure how it happened, one minute I was walking the next minute I was lying on the ground scraeming because my knee cap was in the wrong place. In reality, it was not just a freakish one off accident, because it has happened at least three times before, but on these occasions it generally 'popped' back in as it were. So in my garden I was given gas and air (possibly the best drug ever) by paramedics after what seemed like a life time and they popped it back in place, whilst I laughed and practically used up a whole canister of gas and air. It then swelled up to gigantic proportions and then went back down. But I still haven't been able to put it straight, it can bend but not completely. So I went to this consultant who told me currently I have a locked knee, which is basically the term for what I just said. Now it could be mental or something could be there stopping it. However I won't know until I get an MRI and then they have to solve the riddle of why my knee cap came out in the first place. It's a riddle basically because I do not play sport, and the only athletic thing I do is swimming and walking. And this injury is normally associated with sporty types. So I am now being referred to a knee consultant to get an MRI. Imagine being that specific in a job, literally only focusing on the knee. But it's an important joint, more than you ever realise. Stairs are a great difficulty, and running is a no no. Also the doctor pointed out, that my left thigh muscle is wasting away so I have to start physio for that. It was crazy when he showed me, I hadn't even realised but it's so noticeable! It's kind of scary to do these things. I've never really been to hospital before, and of course it would come slap bang when I have my final exams ever. Also it feels a bit grown up, like the fact they don't have to ask your parents or anything. I know I'm almost 22 but still, I have no clue how stuff like this works!
So that was my crazeballs monday. Kind of sets the tone of the blog, finding a job and writing about my amazing career, that I am certainly going to have OR/AND having my knee put right, which in the worst case scenario would mean surgery. Actually the worst case scenario is either knee cap popping out again. Not even worth thinking about. BLEUGH.
At first I thought it was my alarm, but then I realised it was not making any noise. The number flashing up on the screen was unknown, so the scardy cat that I am, I did not answer it. As I have had my number for so long, i often receive cold calls trying to sell something, and like 99.9% of the population this irritates me. If it is important normally a person leaves a message. and this time they did.
Turns out it was a man from a company I had recently applied for a job with. When I say recently, I mean 1am the night before. He was ringing at 9.30am. This shocked me. In the months I have been applying for jobs, no one had rung me. The grad schemes send out automated you have failed, but we can't tell you why messages, and other companies send 'we want people to start immediately' if that, normally getting out on the clause 'we will only be in contact if successful'. In this recession job market, there are about a hundred billion (approx.) amount of people fighting it out for a job, and there are last years graduates with solid results ready to jump in and take the jobs. So basically getting a job is hard.
Anyway, I was in shock. So I rang the guy back and he was straight with me - currently they don't have any jobs because they already have graduates from last year. standard. He explained the company is trying to set up youth magazines for various areas in the country, and if the first two were successful, they would launch more. He went on to say if this happened, or the company commissioned more, basically I was first in line to get a job! Have to say I was ecstatic. To finally recieve positive feedback after so many months was glorious. He said he was so impressed with my CV and cover letter, which were beautifully written and really struck a chord with him. He says once I finish in July, I should ring him to see if anything has opened up. So a glimmer of hope, in a market that is apparently 'saturated'. There are jobs for graduates, just not in London. Trust me.
So this was a lovely start to my morning. It was sunny outside, I may even have a real job/career in something I've always wanted to do in a few months time and I got to have nachos for lunch. Winner. My housemate E and I decided to 'revise' outside which actually mainly involved napping in the sun and watching birds. We both love ducks, and the bonus of living on campus is that in spring, all the baby animals come out. So cute! However you learn one thing when you arrive at university about ducks. Something that truly takes away your innocence. Duck's rape one another. It sounds funny but is horrifying. Ducks mate for life, but because there are too many male ducks, those males who don't get a mate rape other lady ducks. They also know what they are doing is wrong, and the lady duck is violated. It's disturbing to watch, and yesterday a couple of ducks came over to us, over for another male duck arrive and you could see her get all hunched. Anyway, I swear the first moment you witness this, you can never go back to childhood innocence.
So me and E grabbed some bread and went searching for more ducks. As we walked towards the lakes, we had to pass some of the richer, fresher accommodation. I'm talking the 500 quid a month ones. These are so big, my room could fit in the corridor, whereas my corridor can barely fit a person. The odd thing about these buildings however is that the ground floor rooms have sliding windows. Now having only lived in the "poor" halls, I believed all ground floors had the safety bar windows, so thieves could not enter. Apparently not so, so the university makes it easier to steal from the rich halls, where I presume there are better laptops! This tickled me, but not as much as finding on the ground mussel shells. MUSSEL SHELLS. This is a perfect demonstration of how rich this university is. Mussels are not cheap and are certainly not a staple of students. What was even more hilarious, was that rather than putting the shells in the bin, someone had chucked it out of the kitchen window, probably as they were eating them! Then as we returned from our walk, a soft top sports car was parked outside our building. I mean come on, if you need any more proof that this university is full of rahs, I was confronted with this. Oh fugverse, how I can't wait to escape!
In contrast to these posh going ons, in the evening I took a trip to a orthopedic clinic on the edge of coventry. The place itself was posh, but the housing estates were not. So much so someone had burnt the bus timetable at the bus stop. The contrast is sometimes too extreme! I had to go to the orthopedic clinic because about a month ago, on easter sunday, I dislocated my left knee cap in the garden, scaring my dad, heavily pregnant (at the time) step-mum, my 17 and 3 year old sisters, and my guinea pigs half to death. I'm not even sure how it happened, one minute I was walking the next minute I was lying on the ground scraeming because my knee cap was in the wrong place. In reality, it was not just a freakish one off accident, because it has happened at least three times before, but on these occasions it generally 'popped' back in as it were. So in my garden I was given gas and air (possibly the best drug ever) by paramedics after what seemed like a life time and they popped it back in place, whilst I laughed and practically used up a whole canister of gas and air. It then swelled up to gigantic proportions and then went back down. But I still haven't been able to put it straight, it can bend but not completely. So I went to this consultant who told me currently I have a locked knee, which is basically the term for what I just said. Now it could be mental or something could be there stopping it. However I won't know until I get an MRI and then they have to solve the riddle of why my knee cap came out in the first place. It's a riddle basically because I do not play sport, and the only athletic thing I do is swimming and walking. And this injury is normally associated with sporty types. So I am now being referred to a knee consultant to get an MRI. Imagine being that specific in a job, literally only focusing on the knee. But it's an important joint, more than you ever realise. Stairs are a great difficulty, and running is a no no. Also the doctor pointed out, that my left thigh muscle is wasting away so I have to start physio for that. It was crazy when he showed me, I hadn't even realised but it's so noticeable! It's kind of scary to do these things. I've never really been to hospital before, and of course it would come slap bang when I have my final exams ever. Also it feels a bit grown up, like the fact they don't have to ask your parents or anything. I know I'm almost 22 but still, I have no clue how stuff like this works!
So that was my crazeballs monday. Kind of sets the tone of the blog, finding a job and writing about my amazing career, that I am certainly going to have OR/AND having my knee put right, which in the worst case scenario would mean surgery. Actually the worst case scenario is either knee cap popping out again. Not even worth thinking about. BLEUGH.
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
A breif intorduction of my fugville.
This time last year, I was in LA.
That's pretty much all you need to know about me. From September 2008 to June 2009, I lived the American dream. And my life has never been the same.
My life has always been pretty ordinary. I was born in a northern city, but moved to rural east of england when I was young. My parents divorced, but I got through it, made some great friends, and began university in 2006.
I attend a famous top 5 university in the UK. It is campus based and founded in the 1960s. Many refer to it as the 'bubble' I prefer the 'fuggle'. Yes readers, the fuggle. The fuggle, though enjoyable to some degree, has its fair share of problems. Number one, due to the ridiculous amount of engineers, mathematicians, physicians, chemists and general weighting towards the sciences, it means that there are a lack of fitties, and often ones with chips on their shoulders for not getting into oxbridge. Second, many of these people don't realise how rich they are, and how in reality university is not the real world. Now I'm not saying I'm poor, comfortable middle class, but it does not make for a very diverse community. I have loved campus, but in my second year of living here, it is restraining. There are so many other things I can list, but I'm sure the reasons will come out.
My degree course, enabled me for my third year to travel to San Diego, California to study. In every single way this changed my life. For the past year I cling to the memories of what happened and how amazing my life was. Not only did it change me but it meant coming back to university in England a hell of a lot harder. I always meant to keep a blog there, but I wanted to enjoy everyday, not be stuck to my laptop.
So I am now 3 weeks and 5 days from finishing my final exam, perhaps ever. Last week I handed in TWO dissertations, then became hooked on the election. I've always been political, always been interested in the news and how the world works, and some would define me as a socialist. I was voted most likely to be prime-minister in sixth form, probably due to one history lessons where our teacher asked if anyone was a socialist and I raised my hand, expecting others to do so. No one did. Mainly because many young people are a-political. They don't believe in the system, and don't really understand how politics effects every single component of our lives. From the education we receive, down to the fact you can be a-political. So I wait with baited breath to see what happens, as Nick Clegg betrays the liberal democrats.
Basically my life is like a hung parliament right now. I apply for jobs, but nothing happens. I wait for my exams and hope for a good degree. In a year's time I have no idea where I will be or what I will be doing. And that's why I've started this blog to begin to document how my life might go. Along the way, you may read about my pining, whining and dining (?!) but hopefully it will allow a little insight into my mind, even if occasionally it is dull!
That's pretty much all you need to know about me. From September 2008 to June 2009, I lived the American dream. And my life has never been the same.
My life has always been pretty ordinary. I was born in a northern city, but moved to rural east of england when I was young. My parents divorced, but I got through it, made some great friends, and began university in 2006.
I attend a famous top 5 university in the UK. It is campus based and founded in the 1960s. Many refer to it as the 'bubble' I prefer the 'fuggle'. Yes readers, the fuggle. The fuggle, though enjoyable to some degree, has its fair share of problems. Number one, due to the ridiculous amount of engineers, mathematicians, physicians, chemists and general weighting towards the sciences, it means that there are a lack of fitties, and often ones with chips on their shoulders for not getting into oxbridge. Second, many of these people don't realise how rich they are, and how in reality university is not the real world. Now I'm not saying I'm poor, comfortable middle class, but it does not make for a very diverse community. I have loved campus, but in my second year of living here, it is restraining. There are so many other things I can list, but I'm sure the reasons will come out.
My degree course, enabled me for my third year to travel to San Diego, California to study. In every single way this changed my life. For the past year I cling to the memories of what happened and how amazing my life was. Not only did it change me but it meant coming back to university in England a hell of a lot harder. I always meant to keep a blog there, but I wanted to enjoy everyday, not be stuck to my laptop.
So I am now 3 weeks and 5 days from finishing my final exam, perhaps ever. Last week I handed in TWO dissertations, then became hooked on the election. I've always been political, always been interested in the news and how the world works, and some would define me as a socialist. I was voted most likely to be prime-minister in sixth form, probably due to one history lessons where our teacher asked if anyone was a socialist and I raised my hand, expecting others to do so. No one did. Mainly because many young people are a-political. They don't believe in the system, and don't really understand how politics effects every single component of our lives. From the education we receive, down to the fact you can be a-political. So I wait with baited breath to see what happens, as Nick Clegg betrays the liberal democrats.
Basically my life is like a hung parliament right now. I apply for jobs, but nothing happens. I wait for my exams and hope for a good degree. In a year's time I have no idea where I will be or what I will be doing. And that's why I've started this blog to begin to document how my life might go. Along the way, you may read about my pining, whining and dining (?!) but hopefully it will allow a little insight into my mind, even if occasionally it is dull!
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